Never NEVER TO GET INVOLVED WITH A LINGUISTICS! ( JUST FOR LAUGHS - NO OFFENSE )

A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, "Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?"
The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, "I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!"

The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, "I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?"


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The linguist's husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, "Why, Susan, I'm surprised." She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, "No. I am surprised. You are astonished."


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(You guys may want to read it a few times to comprehend it)
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

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A nun is undressing for a bath and while she's standing naked, there's a knock at the door. The nun calls, "Who is it?"

A voice answers, "A blind salesman."

The nun decides to get a thrill by having the blind man in the room while she's naked so she lets him in. The man walks in, looks straight at the nun and says, "Uhhhh, well hello there, can I sell you a blind, dearie...?"

Disadvantages of online chats with acronyms.

Most people are not real when expressing their positive sides.
However, that does not mean humans are born liars because
they are always real when expressing negatively

The boss is the most valuable asset! As in finance

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars".
"Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man.
The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".

The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?"

To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"


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PLEASE REMEMBER TO VOTE THE POLL ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE BAR!

READ THE QUESTION CAREFULLY*

MY EVIL TWIN!!! BARLEY!!! Lead the healthy lifestyle if not .. START FROM ZERO HOR!!

Oh yes!!

I am here to tell you guys about my evil twin!
The name is orangesoda!
She is bad bad bad LEO!!!

She has put on weight ever since she ... kekeke

PS ah don't say don't say, you know I know can liao.
She's always so lazy at work!
Say wanna go home early today to rest!
In the end online talk talk talk non-stop!
LIKE those techno non-stop hits!!!


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oh yea~ did i mention to you guys that i have a gan ma(god-mother)?

she recommend me to have barley and
sent me a mail on this, and now i'll share it with you

Godmom's quote:

Good for Diabetics as well as colon cleansing.....

SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS......

High in fibre, barley is also a kidney cleanser . Better yet, regular
intake of it helps prevent heart disease .

EU KHAW writes :-

BARLEY water was always a regular drink when we were still living at
home. Whenever we had to go for a medical exam that included a urine
test, my mum would make us drink barley water a day before it to make
sure we got a positive result!

My mother was a wise woman. I later found out from an Australian
naturopath that barley is known to be a kidney cleanser, and he happily
downed glasses of it at a meal we had in a coffeeshop here.

Barley is good for your intestinal health too. Try to eat the barley
grains you find in your drink or sweet broth with fu chook (beancurd
skin) and ginkgo nuts.

It's high in fibre which feeds the friendly bacteria in the colon and
helps speed up the transit of fecal matter in it. In this way it helps
prevent haemorrhoids and colon
cancer. The propionic acid and beta glucan from barley's insoluble fibre
also help lower cholesterol and prevent the formation of gallstones.

Eating barley regularly is a preventive step against heart disease as,
besides the fibre content, it is also high in niacin, a B vitamin good
for lowering cholesterol.

Diabetics should eat more barley as the fibre will prevent blood sugar
levels from rising too high. It also provides relief from constipation
or diarrhoea for those suffering from Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

Barley is rich in selenium which prevents cancer and relieves symptoms
of asthma and arthritis. It is a good source of manganese, copper and
phosphorous. Malt sugar comes from sprouted barley which, when
fermented, is an ingredient in beer and other alcoholic beverages.

Barley, whose Latin name is Hordeum vulgare, has been cultivated for
more than 10,000 years. Since ancient times, barley has been used for
healing purposes and has been known to the Chinese, Egyptians, Greeks
and Romans. Athletes in Greece and Rome in those days were known to eat
barley bread to give them strength.

Besides the usual things we do with barley, I enjoy having it in a
western soup. The larger pearl barley is used and I love the sticky bite
of it.

Here's a recipe for barley soup:-

Barley soup with roasted garlic
--------------------------------------
1 cup pearl barley
5 cloves whole garlic, roasted
2 litres chicken stock, steeped from 1 chicken breasts simmered in 3
litres water
2 tbsps vegetable oil
2 large onions, diced
2 carrots, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
150g turkey ham, cut up
1 tsp ground white pepper
1 tsps sea salt or to taste
1 tbsp chopped parsley

Method
-----------
1. Wash barley and soak it in a bowl of water for three hours. Drain.

2. Heat oil in pan & fry onions. Add carrots & celery, then the barley &
fry for 3 minutes.

3. Add chicken stock, pepper & roasted garlic, simmer over low heat for
at least 1 hour, or until barley is soft.

4. Add salt to taste and serve the soup garnished with chopped parsley.

Something2share:

Barley with lime is my favourite drink (No ice and no sugar).





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Breathe correctly please!

Oh yea! Today was great!
Have something good to post and share today.
This morning i woke up feeling rebellious and lazy and HUNGRY!

Probably that made me so frustrated and angry.
Then i have chosen to go late for my GEMs
and wear slippers to school and not bringing any
materials to school.

When i got to Queenstown MRT station to go to school,
i went to the bread shop and bought $10.10 worth of bread and
egg tarts. Then i got happy^^
Feel so happy to eat and my day was great already!

But that's not all!!!

DAMN IT!!

Cindy scared me twice today!!!

She told me a few horror story and she made it so interesting and
scary. With EFFECTS AND ACTIONS TOO!!

WOOO~!!! SCARY!!!

And yea, i saw jia wei and QSY. Forgot to mention last sat.
I saw them in school also, and JW says that she didn't see me in the pool
maybe because my muscles too small -.- haiz!

And she have got sore throat today! HAHAHA SERVES HER RIGHT!!! :P
and even say that she sounded sexy-.-


not bad..

Yup and that's about it for today^^

I am going to take my afternoon nap now^^ important beauty sleep! YAWN!!!










Our noses have left and right nostrils. Are these nostrils having the same function for inhaling (breathe in) and exhaling (breathe out)?


Actually it's not the same and we can feel the difference. Accordingly, the right side represents the sun and the left side represents the moon.


When having headache, try to close your right nostril and use your left nostril to do breathing for about 5 min. The headache will be gone.



If you feel too tired, do it the opposite way. Close your left nostril and breathe through your right nostril. After a while, you will feel refresh again.


Because the right side belongs to heat, so it gets hot easily. The left side gets cold easily.


Women breathe mainly with their left nostril, so they get calm down easily.


Men breathe mostly with their right nostril, so they get angry easily.



When we wake up, do we notice which nostril breathes faster? Is it the left side or the right side?


If the left nostril breathes faster, you will feel very tired. Close your left nostril and use your right nostril for breathing and you will get refresh quickly.

TRAINING DAY!!!

aww man~!!! TODAY SO DAMN COOL AND ACTIVE!!! FEELS SO GREAT TO BE TOTALLY DRAINED!!

Morning went for canoe polo training. Supposedly not going to be physical and tough, but
because of some BIRD who are late, not serious during training, etc.

Overall was fun!

In the late afternoon went to Basketball coach condo for training. OH MAN!!!

Was great! Shoot and shoot!! Score and score but later part tired liaos, miss and miss lol!


anyway so tired^^ btw the poll is at the side bar^^ please make you choice!

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When i was young, the great people would tell me that the key to life is happiness.
When i was older, i went to school and my teacher ask us to write what i wanted to
be when i grow up and i wrote happy! :D the teacher told me that i don't understand
the assignment given and i argued that the teacher did not understand the meaning
of life. Next i was sent to the principal office T.T

How to fix a problem with computer experts' help! CANOE TRAINING!!!

A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination."

The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive."

The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem."

Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."



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Oh yea~!!! Canoe training was INTENSE!!!

And i'm LOVIN' IT!!!


I can only hope for it to get better and better!
quite the training today! Xiong wor!!!

Doctor: "Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed the one dollar coin?"
Nurse: "No change yet."


-.-


There is no way a nurse can smile when things
are going wrong in the hospital, in her department.

Unless she's off duty..


*****

How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes(jeans) down.

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Let me ask you guys a question.

When you die, say you met with an accident,
what would you like to hear from the people
that are mourning over your death, like your family and friends?



Let's say, they'll really say it if you wish it.


1) You've been the greatest friend and sensible child.

2) You're a very intelligent child with lots of potential
and it's a shame that you die so young?

3) How timely that you've died, it's the economy downturn
and it's just about time we cut costs, especially from you.

4) You're a jerk, nobody cares.



Want to hear what I'd wish to hear them say?

:(

I'd wish that they'll say that I am starting to move and I am
not dead!

Didn't do anything does that mean you won't get punished?

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."









-----------------------
So sorry, i think the google maintenance
screwed up my posts!!

Don't worry, it's back! ^^


**** NEW POLL~!!! MAKE YOUR CHOICE!!!

Zoos do not have real animals :(

An unemployed guy got a new job at the zoo. They offered him to dress up in a gorilla's skin and pretend to be a gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo.
On his first day on the job, the guy puts on the skin and goes into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring.

During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help!"

The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll both lose our jobs!"

Here's your choice of dishes, Yes or No ;)

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or No," she replied.

Are you smart as a farmer?

An agriculture student said to a farmer: "Your methods are too old fashioned. I won't be surprised if this tree will give you less than twenty pounds of apples."
"I won't be surprised either," said the farmer, "this is an orange tree".

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A farmer gets sent to jail, and his wife is trying to hold the farm together until her husband can get out. She's not, however, very good at farm work, so she writes a letter to him in jail: "Dear sweetheart, I want to plant the potatoes. When is the best time to do it?"
The farmer writes back: "Honey, don't go near that field. That's where all my guns are buried."

But, because he is in jail all of the farmer's mail is censored. So when the sheriff and his deputies read this, they all run out to the farm and dig up the entire potato field looking for guns. After two full days of digging, they don't find one single weapon.

The farmer then writes to his wife: "Honey, now is when you should plant the potatoes."

I'm watching you!