Do not worry about failing, just make sure you fail creatively^^

Erm, just download the picture or zoom in if you can't read. :( my bad for the poor size.
Does anyone know how to resize it?

Pregnancy Q & A!!!

Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
A: Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear
anything at all.


Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.


Q: Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my
feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during
pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder.


Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.
Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.


Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from
childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.


Q: Under what circumstances should a baby not be circumcised?
A: When it's a girl, for starters.


Q: Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A: In your breasts.


Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A: Yes, baby lips.


Q: How does one sanitize nipples?
A: Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a
saucepan.


Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.


Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel
and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Let's do some Facial Yoga!!! Guarantee BEAUTIFUL & FIRM!!! Thumbsup*!!!

Hello~!!!
GOOD DAY~!!!



Today I am kind enough to be your yoga teacher:)
Here's what you people will have to do in order to
have good and firm facial whatever -.-


Just do it if you want to look better!








Free Your Tongue
It is recommended that you hold this pose for 60 seconds. It is good if your eyes water; that flushes the toxins that may have accumulated there.



Temple Dancer Eyes
This exercise works on the ring muscles of the eyes to prevent sagging skin and crow's feet.



Smiling Fish Face
Smile while pursing your lips. This pose is modeled after the look celebrities often give the paparazzi.



Lion Face, Part I
Inhale through your nose, make fists and squeeze all your facial muscles...



Lion Face, Part II
Now exhale through your mouth, stick out your tongue, roll your eyes up and open your hands. Repeat three times.



Surprise Me!
Widen your eyes, as though surprised, but try not to wrinkle the brow. Focus on a point in front of you for about five to ten seconds. Then repeat, four times.



Satchmo
Named for Louis Armstrong, this poses mimics the cheeks of a trumpet player.



Marilyn
The repetitive puckering and blowing creates stronger, firmer lips.



Baby Bird
Swallow while pressing the tip of the tongue to the roof of your mouth. Then tilt your head slightly to the left and swallow. Then repeat, towards the right. This exercise helps jowls from forming.



Buddha Face
Close your eyes, relax and imagine a point between the brows. Hold for one minute, or longer.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD~!!! IS HE FOR REAL!?!!!?!!!

This fucking GAY SHIT!!!

HIs voice is like GOD!!!
Like dolphin or bat making the supersonic ultra sound!!!!

CHECK IT OUT AROUND 2.45 THAT TIMING!!!!!
YOU'LL KNOW WHAT I MEAN!









Thanks to Mr. Chew Leng Chong for the link^^

REMINDER FOR SEMESTRAL RESULTS!!! It's TOMORROW!!

HOW TO GET YOUR SEMESTER EXAM RESULTS
There are three ways in which a student can get his exam results on the day of release:-
(a) Check his Windows Live Mail mailbox,
(b) Login to view through SAS. The timing of the release of exam results for all full-time courses will be staggered on Wednesday, 18 March 2009 as follows:
School Time of Release School Time of Release School Time of Release
CLS 9.00 am CASS 9.30 am SD 9.30 am
DMIT 10.00 am SB 10.30 am BE 11.00 am
SMA 11.30 am MM 12.00 pm EEE 1.00 pm

For all EO, DR, Post Dipl., Dipl. Plus, DT and VC courses, time of release through SAS will be at 2.00 pm

(c) Reading SMS (after 8.00 am) for those who had subscribed before 17th March. 2009. This service is only available to local telco subscribers.

Poetry, another style for amatory

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME
WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,
AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:



1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your mother.

6. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

8. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

9. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

10. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

PSLE "TOUGH" QUESTIONS!!! Can you solve them?

Tank A is filled with water to its brim. Water is then poured from Tank A to Tank B until both share the same height. What is this height? (4 marks)



Tank A is filled with water to its brim. Water is then poured from Tank A to Tank B until both share the same height. What is this height? (4 marks)




Question 2
--------

6/14 of the chairs in a hall are in rows of 13. Half of the chairs are in rows of 7. There are 112 more chairs in rows of 7. The rest of the chairs are stacked up. Find the total number of chairs. (5 marks)



Question 3
--------

Shop A has 156 kg of rice. Shop B has 72 kg of rice. After both shops sold an equal amount of rice, the ratio of rice that shop A has to shop B is 4:1. Find the amount of rice sold by the each shop. (3 marks)






Got the answers? Send it to me:) Send it via tag or email anything!!! ARE YOU SMART?

NEVER, NEVER~!!!! Let your kid write a complaint letter!

10 Mistakes to take note of if you don't want to sound stupid!!!

1. Loose for lose
No: I always loose the product key.
Yes: I always lose the product key.


2. It’s for its (or god forbid, its’)
No: Download the HTA, along with it’s readme file.
Yes: Download the HTA, along with its readme file.
No: The laptop is overheating and its making that funny noise again.
Yes: The laptop is overheating and it’s making that funny noise again.


3.They’re fortheir for there
No: The managers are in they’re weekly planning meeting.
Yes: The managers are in their weekly planning meeting.
No: The techs have to check there cell phones at the door, and their not happy about it.
Yes: The techs have to check their cell phones at the door, and they’re not happy about it.


4.i.e. for e.g.
No: Use an anti-spyware program (i.e., AdAware).
Yes: Use an anti-spyware program (e.g., AdAware).
Note: The term i.e. means “that is”; e.g. means “for example.” And a comma follows both of them.


5.Effect for affect
No: The outage shouldn’t effect any users during work hours.
Yes: The outage shouldn’t affect any users during work hours.
Yes: The outage shouldn’t have any effect on users.
Yes: We will effect several changes during the downtime.
Note: Impact is not a verb. Purists, at least, beg you to use affect instead:
No: The outage shouldn’t impact any users during work hours.
Yes: The outage shouldn’t affect any users during work hours.
Yes: The outage should have no impact on users during work hours.


6. You’re foryour
No: Remember to defrag you’re machine on a regular basis.
Yes: Remember to defrag your machine on a regular basis.
No: Your right about the changes.
Yes: You’re right about the changes.


7. Different than for different from
No: This setup is different than the one at the main office.
Yes: This setup is different from the one at the main office.
Yes: This setup is better than the one at the main office.


8. Lay for lie
No: I got dizzy and had to lay down.
Yes: I got dizzy and had to lie down.
Yes: Just lay those books over there.


9. Then for than
No: The accounting department had more problems then we did.
Yes: The accounting department had more problems than we did.
Note: Here’s a sub-peeve. When a sentence construction begins with If, you don’t need a then. Then is implicit, so it’s
superfluous and wordy:
No: If you can’t get Windows to boot, then you’ll need to call Ted.
Yes: If you can’t get Windows to boot, you’ll need to call Ted.


10.Could of, would of for could have, would have
No: I could of installed that app by mistake.
Yes: I could have installed that app by mistake.
No: I would of sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.
Yes: I would have sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.

Are you smart enough to lie and convince your mother?

Well,
mothers are the ones that gave birth to us.
They're smart, they really are smart.
Sometimes because of this, they think they know
us. Like when she said something about us that's so
true and we'll go, : "OMG!! How'd you know?"
Then they'll say, : "Of course I do silly child, I'm your mom remember?"

Tsk!!!

However we can't deny that they're really intelligent and cunning.
They squeeze every cent outta your dad's salary and resulting
in you getting less gifts and allowances.
The way they'll win sympathy and the way they manage to
TIE down your dad and make sure he doesn't fool around and
well, haha all she does it shopping and gossiping.


But actually they do care about the family and love the family :D


Okie just an example of how smart a mother can be.
So don't ever try to lie to them:D



--------------------------------------------------------------------


John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So, he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But, the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But, the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom.

Lesson of the day: Don't lie to your mother.

Lai Lai~!!! LIP LAI LIP LAI!!! NEW ADVERTISEMENTS AND INTERESTING UPDATES!!

Lai Lai everyong!!!

I've added some advertisements on my blogs
along with some other interesting stuffs like
artistic picture, clock and riddle/poll!!!




So free, come and see see look look.
Introduce to many many de people okies?

Lurb chiu guys deep deep!!!


Okay~!!

Today didn't have much stuff,
went to Marsiling CC to play
a match against Woodland rings
with my ex-school team mates.


:( I am such a burden T.T


Fall down, pain pain.
Back also sprain sprain pain pain.



Oh yes oh yes~!!!
Will come up with gossips soon enough
and See See Look Look also provides free
services like chatting and counselling sessions
FOR FREEEEEE~!!!

EFFECTIVE AND ECONOMICAL~!!!

What are you waiting for? Come on in and drop me
an email, comment or simply just tag and leave your
message or contacts!!! :)

Have a nice week ahead everyone!!!

Drink lots of water, take good care of your health!!!









-------------------------------------------------------------

A woman was having an affair while her husband was away at work.
One day she was
in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her
husband's car pull into the driveway.

"Oh My God - Hurry! Grab your clothes," she yelled to her
lover.
"And jump out the window. My husband's home early!"

I can't jump out the window!" came the strangled reply from
beneath the sheets.
"It's raining out there!"

"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she
replied.

"He's got a very quick temper and a very large gun! The rain
is the least of your problems!"

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and
jumps out the window!

As he began running down the street in the pouring rain, he
quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's
annual marathon.

He started running along beside the others about 300 of them.

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried
to "blend in" as best he could.

It wasn't that effective!

After a little while, a small group of runners, who had been
studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.

"Oh yes" he replied, gasping in air. "It feels so wonderfully
free having the
air blow over all your skin while you're running."

Another runner moved alongside. "Do you always run carrying
your clothes under your arm?"

"Oh, yes" our friend answered breathlessly. "That way I can
get dressed right
at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!"

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried.
"Do you always wear a condom when you run?"

"Only if it's raining."

What do you wish for?

There was this company's CEO who is a millionaire, had his 80th birthday in his bungalo... he invited all of his friends there... during the night, he went to the stage and announced," in my swimming pool... there are two great white sharks... whoever dares to swim in the pool and out alive, i will give u anything u wish for...."
the party continues as no one has dared... Suddenly, everyone heard a splash! everyone saw a man swimming like mad in the swimming pool... there are 2 fins gaining on him... when he reached the other side of the pool, he was being pulled out... the millionaire dragged him to the stage and said," Name anything! Anything in this world that u want, for u r the bravest man i ever seen!!!" the man snatched the mike and said," LETS START WITH THE NAME OF THE JERK WHO PUSHED ME IN!!"



Back ache!!
Over strained?
some of my friends say that
probably i "do" too much -.-
hmm
yesterday my dad ask me
to take his backache medication and
guess what!
I ate the wrong one when it's the orange
pill that he mentioned. what the hell
then i have to eat another one-.-

TOMORROW MATCH!! WOOHOO~!!

What name would you give to your dog?

When I adopted a dog, I decided to give it an unusual name. After some hard thinking, I decided to call him "SEX". Well, SEX is a very embarrassing name.

One day I took SEX for a walk an he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for SEX. A policeman came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4am in the morning. I said I was looking for SEX. My case came up in the following week.

One day, I went to get a license for SEX. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for SEX. He said, "I would like to have one too." then I said, "You don't understand, I had SEX since I was ten years old." He replied, "You must have been a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have SEX at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said, "But SEX has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around SEX." He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in this church. I told him everybody coming to the wedding would enjoy having SEX there. The next day, we were married by the justice of peace. My family was barred from the church.

My wife and I took tje dog with us along on the honeymoon. When I checked into the motel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and myself and also a special room for SEX. The clerk said that every room in the motel is for SEX. Then I said, "You don't understand, SEX keeps me awake at night," and the clerk said, "Me too."

One day I told a friend I had SEX on TV. He said,"Show off." I told him it was a contest, and he told me I should have sold tickets.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said,"Your Honour, I had SEX before I was married." And the judge said,"Me too."

Well now, I have been thrown in jail, been married, divorced, and had more damned trouble with the dog than I ever bargained for. Why, just the other day, when I went for the first session with the psychiatrist and she asked me what the problem was, and I replied,"Hell, SEX has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely." The doctor said, "Look Mister, you and I know that SEX isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a dog."

What class are you? Did i post this before?

Once upon a time in Singapore, there lived a happy couple, Mr. &
Mrs. Ng with their 3 lovely daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella.

The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper way and when
they reached 20, they were still virgins. Years passed, and it was
time to get them married.

So, the parents found them the most suitable " leng chais" (handsome
guys ). They got married and were preparing to set-off on their
honeymoon.

As "concerned" (more like "kay-poh") parents, Mr.& Mrs. Ng were
curious about their daughters' first-night experience. So, before
the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs. Ng told
them......" Your father and I want to know about your 1st night
encounters and whether you are satisfied. Write a letter to us, but
as not to raise your husbands' curiosity...you all must use a code-
name to describe your experiences".

So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed. Mr. & Mrs. Ng got
the first letter. It was from Elaine.

They opened the letter and found the word STANDARD CHARTERED. They
immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered
advertisement.

"Ah! here it is!", exclaimed Mr. Ng. The motto for Standard Chartered
was.... "BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY"

Mr & Mrs. Ng were happy.

A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena.
The content was simple. "NESCAFE". So, again they took the newspaper
and looked for the Nescafe ad. "Ah! here it is. 'NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP".


Mr. & Mrs. Ng beamed with joy.

Another week passed. A month passed. And another. There was still no
letter from Ella. The Ngs became worried.

Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read,
but Mrs. Ng managed to figure it out. The code-name was "SINGAPORE
AIRLINES".

Why Singapore Airlines? Mr.Ng rushed to the nearest store and got a
newspaper. He flipped the pages frantically. "Ah! Here it is!" Mrs. Ng
grabbed the page and read aloud.

Before she could finish ...THUMP!!!...she fell off her chair.

The motto was ..."7 TIMES A WEEK. 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP".

LAUGH SOME MORE LAUGH!!!!

Osama Bin Laden himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message:

370HSSV - 0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply:



"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."






******************************************************


A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry." She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle." Stunned, the young man says, "That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

"I don't like her," she says.



******************************************************

Work in the dark?

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"

Phone conversation. Really irritating!!!

It all begins when Lee called Annie....

Lee Sum Wan : Hello can I speak to Annie Wan?

Mr. Sori : Yes, u could speak to me.

Lee Sum Wan : No! I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Mr. Sori : You are now talking to someone! Who is this?

Lee Sum Wan : I'm Sum Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent!


Mr. Sori : I KNOW u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Lee Sum Wan : Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.

Mr. Sori : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!!!

Lee Sum Wan : You are rude. Who are you?

Mr. Sori : I'm Sori.

Lee Sum Wan : You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Mr. Sori : I'm Sori!!

Lee Sum Wan : I don't like your tone of voice Mr. and I don't care, give me your name!

Mr. Sori : Look lady, I told you already I'm Sori! I'm Sori!! I'm SORI!!! You didn't even give me your name!

Lee Sum Wan : I told u before I'm Sum Wan! Sum Wan!!! You better be careful my father is Sum
Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position in the company. He is Noe Buddy!!

Old man indeed is more cunning than you think. Old sly fox!!! hehe

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer , he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said,

"I'm here to feed the alligator."

Work work work!

You guys are all the same:( Haiz!

You people are all the same:(
Cares only about yourself.
Do you guys know what's considerate?
Never mind, just pretend that i am
unreasonable, okie now
let's see







A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw
Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over
to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a
slap and says,
"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who
bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese".
" Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied
Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,
"You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship,
not me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the
same ."

SEX FROGS FOR SALE!! :D

A beautiful, well endowed, young blonde, goes to her local pet store in
search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box
full of frogs. The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back
Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions)."

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and
whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man
packages the frog and says, "Just follow the instructions carefully."

The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she
closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and
reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and position the frog in place.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing
happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She
re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says,
"If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the
girl calls the pet store.

The man says, "I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over."
Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomes him
in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and
the damn thing just sits there." The man, looking very concerned, picks up
the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says:

"Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"












HAIZ~!! I FEEL SO SAD AND EMO LEI!! HOW?
somebody can help me and talk to me ma?:(
need intensive counselling!!