Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Pregnancy Q & A!!!

Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
A: Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear
anything at all.


Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.


Q: Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my
feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during
pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder.


Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.
Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.


Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from
childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.


Q: Under what circumstances should a baby not be circumcised?
A: When it's a girl, for starters.


Q: Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A: In your breasts.


Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A: Yes, baby lips.


Q: How does one sanitize nipples?
A: Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a
saucepan.


Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.


Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel
and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

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