Doctor says just a can of beer a day at max.. So be it

Extended Marketing examples Jokes

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to 
her and say: "I am very rich. 
"Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing" 

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a 
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and 
pointing at you says: "He's very rich. 
"Marry him." -That's Advertising" 

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to 
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you 
call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. 
"Marry me - That's Telemarketing" 

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up 
and straighten your tie, you 
walk up to her and pour 
her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, 
pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and 
then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you 
"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations" 

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks 
up to you and says:"You are very rich! 
"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition" 

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to 
her and say: "I am very rich.. Marry me!" She gives you 
a nice hard slap on your face. -   
"That's Customer Feedback" 

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to 
her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she 
introduces you to her husband. - 
"That's demand and supply gap" 

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a 
party. You go up to 
her and before you say anything, another person come 
and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she 
goes with him - 
"That's competition eating into your market share" 

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to 
her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your 
wife arrives. - 
"That's restriction for entering new markets" 

Do you know why you did not manage to catch any fish?

Woman: So dear, did you catch any fish?

Man: Yea, a big one!

Woman: Really?

Man: Yea, a really big SHOE! If I'd known that I can't catch any big fishes, I wouldn't have release the
smaller ones. At the very least we still have som fish for dinner.

Woman laughs: Do you know why you didn't manage to catch any big fishes?

Man: Why?

Woman: Because the small fishes have gone back to warn the big fishes about it.

Man: No, that is not true! Nobody would believe a word from kids!

Door Chin/Pull up bar Caution

I am so sad because I am 188cm tall which is quite tall and that my door width and length is not so big :(

Just this week, I've pulled my neck/back muscles 2 twice right after the first one recovered! :(

I'm not discouraging people from using it, just be more careful when using it.

Do not do these things like I did, especially when you are big and tall:

1) Turn your head around i.e. Left/Right, looking here and there or to have the momentum to pull yourself up

2) Talk to someone else and worse off, laugh

It took me about 3-5 days to recover. So terrible because you can't sleep well or train well :(

Proposing a toast to the CATERERS & the rest can FUCK OFF!

The Good Loser

Did I read that sign right?

In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW


In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT


In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD


Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?


Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR


Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR


Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.


On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)