Do you know why you did not manage to catch any fish?

Woman: So dear, did you catch any fish?

Man: Yea, a big one!

Woman: Really?

Man: Yea, a really big SHOE! If I'd known that I can't catch any big fishes, I wouldn't have release the
smaller ones. At the very least we still have som fish for dinner.

Woman laughs: Do you know why you didn't manage to catch any big fishes?

Man: Why?

Woman: Because the small fishes have gone back to warn the big fishes about it.

Man: No, that is not true! Nobody would believe a word from kids!

Door Chin/Pull up bar Caution

I am so sad because I am 188cm tall which is quite tall and that my door width and length is not so big :(

Just this week, I've pulled my neck/back muscles 2 twice right after the first one recovered! :(

I'm not discouraging people from using it, just be more careful when using it.

Do not do these things like I did, especially when you are big and tall:

1) Turn your head around i.e. Left/Right, looking here and there or to have the momentum to pull yourself up

2) Talk to someone else and worse off, laugh

It took me about 3-5 days to recover. So terrible because you can't sleep well or train well :(

Proposing a toast to the CATERERS & the rest can FUCK OFF!

The Good Loser

Did I read that sign right?

In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW


In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT


In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD


Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?


Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR


Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR


Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.


On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)