technician and publisher's jokes

A communication technician drafted by the army was at a firing range. At the range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and 50 rounds. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his weapon, and then at the target. He looked at the weapon again, and then at the target again. He then put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"

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"Have you written this poem by yourself?"
"Of course," said the young poet, "Every word of it."
"Well, I am very glad to meet you, Mr. Edgar Allan Poe, I was afraid you are dead for long time."

More complaints over PSLE "tough question(s)"

More and more parents and even members of the public commented on the tough Math questions set for Primary School Leaving Examinations. Why? That's because they do not have a highly capable and specialized tutor like myself. ;) alright jokes aside.

Apparently, not only O' Levels Mathematics' paper one has been approved of the usage of calculator, even primary school students are allowed to do so.

As a result, tougher questions set just to "compensate" the time cut by giving more tougher and complex questions which will FORCE students to spend more time understanding the question and working more steps out.

I've got a question from the PSLE and it goes :

Jim bought some chocolates and gave half of it to Ken. Ken bought some sweets and gave half of it to Jim. Jim ate 12 sweets and Ken ate 18 chocolates. The ratio of Jim’s sweets to chocolates became 1:7 and the ratio of Ken’s sweets to chocolates became 1:4. How many sweets did Ken buy? Ans: 68


What do you think? Is it tough?

Try to lose weight with these guidelines(Not guaranteed)

1. Don't eat anything that is white. Think about most foods that are white and chances are you shouldn't be eating it. Specifically, I'm talking about white bread, pasta, sugar, white rice, and most milk products. Healthy foods like cauliflower, chicken, turkey, fish are all exceptions to this rule. Based on Tio's current eating habits, I didn't think he was all too worried about cauliflower anyway.

2. Only drink water, NOTHING else! How about coffee? Just to keep any possible withdrawal headaches at bay, one small cup of organic black coffee is ok. Can you add half and half?...Well is it white?

3. Don't eat anything with the word wheat in the ingredients list. What if it's whole wheat? Look, if the word starts with W and ends in T and has the letters h-e-a in between, you can't eat it.

Colourful ~

Result of Vending Machine Error

What are the odds?